


Lost in Dreams

by ohaiwrites



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: After Adamant, Dragon Age Inquisition Spoilers, F/M, Hurt, One Shot, Warden Alistair, amell - Freeform, i don't know why i'm doing this but i felt like they deserved a goodbye, no comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-29 14:37:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3899920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohaiwrites/pseuds/ohaiwrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Alistair is left behind and dies by the hand of the Nightmare demon in the Fade, Rialla Amell finds herself dreaming of him. They say goodbye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost in Dreams

Sleep came late as Rialla lay in the small cabin. She had spent the day scouting, and was exhausted from all the running around. Still, her mind was racing, worrying, missing. The Calling was quieter now, the previous urgent and loud singing faded away as the usual low song returned. She made a mental note to write to Alistair the next day. Oh, how she missed him. 

She didn't write to him as much as she should, and she had been gone a long time. Alistair's last letter had said that he was travelling to Adamant with the Inquisition, and she did not like the sound of it at all. An old Tevinter ritual place, now potentially filled with corrupted Wardens? Well, they must have succeeded, or else the Calling would not have quieted down. While she contemplaited leaving to see him return to this Skyhold, she slowly drifted off to sleep. _Maybe I see Duncan again_... Her dreams had become more intense lately, more real somehow. Maybe it was because of the Breach in the sky, or because of the darkspawn taint...

 

***********

Rialla Amell was standing in Denerim, at the exact same spot she and Alistair had agreed to live together as Wardens. The Fade gave a pretty good impression of it, at least of how she remembered Denerim. It was an unexpected surprise to return to this place in her dreams, but not entirely unwelcome. As she wandered the empty street, a low voice came from behind.  
"My love."  
Rialla froze in place, unsure of what to do. In the split of a second she dropped into a fighting stance, conjuring a small fireball in her right hand. She might have wandered into the domain of a desire demon or-  
"Right... you think I'm a demon. Because of course you do. You've always been the smart one of us..."  
"Alistair?" she gasped as she turned around to see her husband stand there, the same smirk on his face that made her fall for him all those years ago. The fire in her hand faded.  
"Yes, that would be me... Maker, when I hoped to see you again soon I certainly didn't expect it to be", he looked around, " _here_."  
"I don't understand."  
She really didn't. She was fairly certain he wasn't a demon. He felt too real. Rialla was also fairly certain the Alistair that looked at her right now wasn't a figment of her imagination.  
"How are you..." and then it suddenly hit her. " _No_."  
Alistair's face turned ashen, and he took a step towards her, taking her hand in his.   
"I'm so sorry my love" he whispered. "I couldn't leave this place without saying goodbye."  
Rialla felt her legs tremble, and the sob that escaped her throat was desperate and raw. "No!" She shook her head. " _No_. This is just a dream."  
"I know, right? Sucks. I've missed you so much and all I can offer you now is this dreamy goodbye." Alistair's attempt at humor fell flat. Rialla looked at him in horror, her mouth hanging open. Her hand in his tensed, her fingernails digging deep into his flesh. As his love tried to grasp the painful reality of their encounter, Alistair took her into his arms, holding her tightly.

"No. _No no no_. This can't be real. _Please_."   
Tears streamed down the mage's face. After a while, she had stopped pleading and started crying, and it broke his heart. He murmured gently into her hair, calming her down a bit. Looking down on her, Alistair cupped her face with his left hand, stroking a few tears aways with his thump. He swallowed hard. He wanted her to remember him as they were, happy and unbroken, and not like this.   
"Hey" he eventually said, pulling up her chin so she had to look at him. "It's gonna be alright."  
Rialla shook her head. "I should've come with you."  
"And then what? You'd be dead, too? Not on my watch." His voice broke on the last words.   
"I can't do this without you" she cried and her eyes crashed his soul into pieces.   
"You've been doing it the whole time" he tried, "you will be just fine."  
Rially started crying again. "I don't want to be _fine_! I want to be happy. I want to be with _you_!"   
"I know. I failed you. Just as I failed Duncan all those years ago... you have a right to be angry."   
Her anger faded as quickly as it had rushed in. "No." Rially pulled him close and buried her face in his chest. "You could never fail me."

They hugged each other tight and stood there, silent and desperate to hang on to the other for just a little while longer. Rialla asked eventually "How?" and her lover told her, though he spared her the gruesome details of his fight with the Nightmare demon. It didn't matter. His spirit had manifested somewhere in the Fade, unable to let go before seeing her once again. He had, and now, too soon, it was time for him - for _them_ \- to let go.

"Are you going to be okay?" she asked after a while. She loved him with all her heart, and leaving him here, in the Fade, while she got to wake up again, was tearing her apart from the inside.   
"I'm leaving _you_ behind, but you're worried about _me_?" Alistair slowly shook his head. "I am the luckiest man in all of Thedas, having met you." He kissed her softly, one last time. "Don't you worry about me. We'll find each other again."  
"Promise?"  
"I promise."  
A cool breeze blew through the street as they said their goodbyes. Memories of a shy mage and an awkward Warden came rushing back: of meetings at Ostagar, shared grief over campfires, of wars fought and battles lost. And memories of later times as familiar lovers and wandering Wardens: of waking up together in a warm, cozy bed, of laughter and dancing in foreign taverns, of intimate moments and touches, kisses and whispers, cherished while travelling together and apart.   
"Know, that I will always love you" he said, his words echoing in her ears as Rialla felt her body and mind being pulled back to the realm of the waking.  
"I love you, too" she whispered in return. With a wet face and a broken heart, she woke up. He was gone.

 


End file.
